Effective Ways to Discipline

KIDS COUNT ON YOU.............to help them learn right from wrongPut positive discipline into practice!

Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever have. It is a 24-hour, 7-day a week commitment. We hope these positive discipline suggestions will make the job easier. With practice they will become a regular part of your parenting style.



DANGER PROOF AREAS
Children, especially young toddlers, love to explore. Touching, pulling, grabbing, and eating are just a few of the ways they find out about their environment. To danger proof your home, get down on your hands and knees, and look around. If you can touch an object, so can your child. Put any dangerous or precious objects away in a safe place. You will say NO less often.

ESTABLISH CLEAR RULES
Children need and want rules. Rules help children learn right from wrong. Rules set reasonable expectations, and they encourage children to take responsibility for their own behavior. Children can begin to follow rules when they can use words to express how they think and feel and contribute to creating the rules. Infants are too young to understand rules.

Guidelines for making rules:
diamond.gif (874 bytes)Post rules in a high traffic area such as the kitchen
diamond.gif (874 bytes)Limit the number of rules to five or fewer
diamond.gif (874 bytes)Make the rules DOs rather than DON'Ts
diamond.gif (874 bytes)Make rules appropriate to your child's age
diamond.gif (874 bytes)Make a list of consequences for breaking rules
diamond.gif (874 bytes)Be consistent in applying the rules and consequences

CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES
Use this simple technique to teach children how to manage their own behavior:
You have a choice; you can do either (a) or (b)
If you choose (a), then ______will happen;
If you chose (b), then _______ will happen;
What is your choice?


MESSAGES
Messages let kids know that their behavior is unacceptable, but that they are not bad.
1. Tell the child what you see. I see that you are painting without a smock.
2. Tell the child how the behavior makes you feel. I'm frustrated, because now there's paint on your new clothes.
3. Tell the child what you want to happen. Please get my help with your smock before painting. That is the rule in our house.
4. Let the child know what will happen if the behavior occurs again. If you are not able to follow this rule, you will not be allowed to paint this afternoon.

IGNORING
Is a form of positive discipline that helps stop irritating but harmless behaviors like whining and temper tantrums.
1. Pretend you don't notice the behavior; dream your favorite daydream.
2. Even though the behavior may get worse, continue to ignore it.
3. When the behavior stops, praise the child immediately.
4. Use this same strategy every time, and the episodes of undesirable behavior will become more infrequent.


REWARDS
Like adults, children respond better to praise and rewards than they do to punishment. They usually repeat the behaviors that adults praise. Catch your children being good as often as possible.

Praise can be the most powerful reward of all. Use praise for being. Words such as "" I love you! You're great!" and praise for doing: " What a great job you did of cleaning your room!".

Nurturing Touches are gentle hugs, soft strokes on a child's back, or gently rocking back and forth. Praise and nurturing touch together are a great combination!

Privileges can be extra play time, an extra story, or whatever is special to your child. Regardless of behavior, parents should always meet their child's basic needs for food, shelter, security, and love.

Objects such as stickers and toys can be used to reward a child. Try keeping a star chart as a record of good behavior.

For more information, or a copy of this brochure, contact us

Prevention Works!

Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina
3344 Hillsborough Street
Suite 100-D
Raleigh, NC 27607
Phone: 919.829.8009
1.800.354.KIDS
Fax:  919.832.0308
Email: info@childabusenc.org

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